Zippy
08-27-2005, 03:22 PM
The Survivor [
Ha! Look at them down there, runnin’ round like scolded rats. The news was yesterday and already they’re panicking. The comet’s comin’ and most of them won’t make it. Most of them’ll die.
Take a look at this character here. Yeah, that one gettin’ out of the car. Look at her face, eyes rollin’ round in her head. I tell you, if the comet doesn’t kill her a stroke will! What’s she got there? Bottled water, beans, dried pasta. Huh, two weeks of that crap and she’ll wish she hadn’t survived.
Hand me that note book, will you? Have to get prepared. Let’s see…Mrs MacArthur, apartment 2C, beans, pasta and bottled water. There’s Brown from 4B. Better note that down as well…blankets, bandages and gasoline. Christ! I could go on all day!
I suppose I can’t blame them, its human nature. The old survival instinct. Right now there’s a voice in their heads, drowning out everythin’. ‘Winter’s comin’’, its saying, ‘Winter’s comin’, must hoard and store. Winter’s comin’.’
Ha! Can you believe I used to be just like these monkeys? And I didn’t have a comet to blame it on. Yeah, I know it’s hard to believe, but follow me into the kitchen and I’ll show you somethin’.
Now, look inside the cupboard and let’s see what I’ve got. Hmm, a tin of soup, a can of coffee and a jar of mayo. Not much is it? Not much considering food’s gonna be scarce once this thing hits. Now, tell me, do I look worried? You bet I don’t and I’ll tell you why. ‘Cause I know the secret of survival.
After my wife left I went a little crazy. No, no, don’t deny it, it’s true. I lost it. It’s funny how your mind works. A lot of guys would have turned to drink, or gone chasin’ tale like some kinda teenager. But not me. I got myself a thing. What them head-shrinks call an ob-sesh-on. That’s a thing to you and me. After she took-off I had the bedroom made into a safe-room. I lined them walls with lead, filled it with water, medical equipment, dried-food – everythin’ you need for the end of the world. And when it was done I holed-up and waited, sure it was comin’.
What’s that? No, no, I don’t have it no-more, I’m gettin’ to that. Now, this here thing was strong. I didn’t want to leave the house, got so I could barely step out of the safe-room. Sometimes I’d go to the door, but my heart would start poundin’ so hard I was scared I was gonna have what you call a corn-o-ry. That’s a heart-attack to you or me. I’d call the store and get them to deliver what I needed. Went through a lot of beer and bourbon back then – can’t stomach the stuff now, not with these here pills they make me take – and ran me up quite a tab. Wasn’t long before they was at my door looking for the cash. Anyways, I got by best I could, thought I was doin’ pretty good in fact.
Then, one night I was sittin’ watchin’ TV, eatin’ cold spaghetti from the tin, when it hit me. I was goin’ crazy. I was sittin’ there with the safe-room door jammed open in case I hadda make a run for it, and outside the world kept turnin’. Christ! I hadda stop! Hadda get a grip and jump back in the saddle. But the fear’d got me. I needed that room, the ham-radio and the diesel generator. I realized then that I wasn’t doin’ good. Maria was gone and she went and took my confidence with her. The only crutch I had was that room.
So, I sat there in the dark, spaghetti sauce drippin’ from my chin, and cried.
Hey, no need to look shamed. I don’t look shamed do I? No, you bet I don’t. It’s true, I cried. Anyways, the TV was still on and there was this show. What they call a doc-ment-ry. That’s a show to you and me. It was about lions down there in Africa. Them lions know how to hunt. Know how to survive.
I climbed right there into that screen with them, I can tell you. Never seen anythin’ like that show. Was then I got the secret of survival. I didn’t need that room no-more. I could get on with livin’, ‘cause I had the secret.
Well, I don’t have to tell you the rest. Didn’t have no money to pay the rent. The Super came round with the cops and I got hauled away. That’s when I met you, up there at the State Hospital.
We had us some good times up there, didn’t we? Some good long talks. Hadda be careful though. Wouldn’t do to be seen talkin’, folks wouldn’t understand. Anyways, we fooled them good partner. Didn’t we? We fooled them good…
What’s that? The secret? Oh, yeah, I was gettin’ to that. Come through to the bedroom and I’ll show you.
I never forgot about that show. I learned a lot from them lions.
Over here, the wardrobe.
You know, the interesting thing about lions is the females do all the huntin’.
Here, I’ve got the key, unlock it.
Them female lions work their tales off catchin’ all the food.
Try the other key. Yeah, that one.
But you know, it’s the male lions who eat best. It’s them that get the pick of the meat and get it first.
Go on, open it.
The males don’t have to bust their asses catchin’ meat. All they have to do is control the females.
Take it out and hand it here.
You see the secret of survival is simple.
Hand me that box of shells will you?
Hunt the hunters.
Now, let’s get that note book. Five days until this thing hits. Plenty of time to take what we need.
THE END.
Ha! Look at them down there, runnin’ round like scolded rats. The news was yesterday and already they’re panicking. The comet’s comin’ and most of them won’t make it. Most of them’ll die.
Take a look at this character here. Yeah, that one gettin’ out of the car. Look at her face, eyes rollin’ round in her head. I tell you, if the comet doesn’t kill her a stroke will! What’s she got there? Bottled water, beans, dried pasta. Huh, two weeks of that crap and she’ll wish she hadn’t survived.
Hand me that note book, will you? Have to get prepared. Let’s see…Mrs MacArthur, apartment 2C, beans, pasta and bottled water. There’s Brown from 4B. Better note that down as well…blankets, bandages and gasoline. Christ! I could go on all day!
I suppose I can’t blame them, its human nature. The old survival instinct. Right now there’s a voice in their heads, drowning out everythin’. ‘Winter’s comin’’, its saying, ‘Winter’s comin’, must hoard and store. Winter’s comin’.’
Ha! Can you believe I used to be just like these monkeys? And I didn’t have a comet to blame it on. Yeah, I know it’s hard to believe, but follow me into the kitchen and I’ll show you somethin’.
Now, look inside the cupboard and let’s see what I’ve got. Hmm, a tin of soup, a can of coffee and a jar of mayo. Not much is it? Not much considering food’s gonna be scarce once this thing hits. Now, tell me, do I look worried? You bet I don’t and I’ll tell you why. ‘Cause I know the secret of survival.
After my wife left I went a little crazy. No, no, don’t deny it, it’s true. I lost it. It’s funny how your mind works. A lot of guys would have turned to drink, or gone chasin’ tale like some kinda teenager. But not me. I got myself a thing. What them head-shrinks call an ob-sesh-on. That’s a thing to you and me. After she took-off I had the bedroom made into a safe-room. I lined them walls with lead, filled it with water, medical equipment, dried-food – everythin’ you need for the end of the world. And when it was done I holed-up and waited, sure it was comin’.
What’s that? No, no, I don’t have it no-more, I’m gettin’ to that. Now, this here thing was strong. I didn’t want to leave the house, got so I could barely step out of the safe-room. Sometimes I’d go to the door, but my heart would start poundin’ so hard I was scared I was gonna have what you call a corn-o-ry. That’s a heart-attack to you or me. I’d call the store and get them to deliver what I needed. Went through a lot of beer and bourbon back then – can’t stomach the stuff now, not with these here pills they make me take – and ran me up quite a tab. Wasn’t long before they was at my door looking for the cash. Anyways, I got by best I could, thought I was doin’ pretty good in fact.
Then, one night I was sittin’ watchin’ TV, eatin’ cold spaghetti from the tin, when it hit me. I was goin’ crazy. I was sittin’ there with the safe-room door jammed open in case I hadda make a run for it, and outside the world kept turnin’. Christ! I hadda stop! Hadda get a grip and jump back in the saddle. But the fear’d got me. I needed that room, the ham-radio and the diesel generator. I realized then that I wasn’t doin’ good. Maria was gone and she went and took my confidence with her. The only crutch I had was that room.
So, I sat there in the dark, spaghetti sauce drippin’ from my chin, and cried.
Hey, no need to look shamed. I don’t look shamed do I? No, you bet I don’t. It’s true, I cried. Anyways, the TV was still on and there was this show. What they call a doc-ment-ry. That’s a show to you and me. It was about lions down there in Africa. Them lions know how to hunt. Know how to survive.
I climbed right there into that screen with them, I can tell you. Never seen anythin’ like that show. Was then I got the secret of survival. I didn’t need that room no-more. I could get on with livin’, ‘cause I had the secret.
Well, I don’t have to tell you the rest. Didn’t have no money to pay the rent. The Super came round with the cops and I got hauled away. That’s when I met you, up there at the State Hospital.
We had us some good times up there, didn’t we? Some good long talks. Hadda be careful though. Wouldn’t do to be seen talkin’, folks wouldn’t understand. Anyways, we fooled them good partner. Didn’t we? We fooled them good…
What’s that? The secret? Oh, yeah, I was gettin’ to that. Come through to the bedroom and I’ll show you.
I never forgot about that show. I learned a lot from them lions.
Over here, the wardrobe.
You know, the interesting thing about lions is the females do all the huntin’.
Here, I’ve got the key, unlock it.
Them female lions work their tales off catchin’ all the food.
Try the other key. Yeah, that one.
But you know, it’s the male lions who eat best. It’s them that get the pick of the meat and get it first.
Go on, open it.
The males don’t have to bust their asses catchin’ meat. All they have to do is control the females.
Take it out and hand it here.
You see the secret of survival is simple.
Hand me that box of shells will you?
Hunt the hunters.
Now, let’s get that note book. Five days until this thing hits. Plenty of time to take what we need.
THE END.