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Keltic Banshee
06-25-2005, 03:10 PM
Well, first of all, my apologies to all R.E.M. fans who may not fancy the idea that I borrow the title of one of their songs for my story :-) But they said it better than I could ever say it ;)

This is just a wee scene I wrote last night... feel free to criticize, give your oppinion and even to say you don't like it! :-) I've always been shy to share my stories, but I think that's the best way to improve my writings...

It's the end of the world as we know it
She walked slowly along the cliffs as the fresh autumn day approached its end, lost in her own thoughts. The air, chilling and salty, made her tremble and cuddle up in her cardigan. A silent tear fell down her cheek, breaking another of her self-made promises, as she thought of how different that visit was going to be to the trip she had dreamt of some months before. There was no one by her side to share it with... not even in her heart to share it through the distance, as they had shared so many things.

After quite a long walk, she sat on the grass, her legs crossed, facing the sea and watching the sun sinking into the ocean. She had lived all her life near the sea, but the coast there faced the north, so she had never before seen the sea and the sky turn crimson red and purple with the setting sun. She thought of the many places in the world ancient peoples thought to be the last spot of land before the end of the world, the many places in the world that bore the same name, only in different languages: Land's End, Finisterre, and many more she could not remember right now. In fact, she thought, most of those places were inhabited by the Celts at some point of the story. Ironic, in a way, she thought.

She left out a heavy sigh, considering her decision once again. She went through the always changing feelings she had experienced since the thought frist came around her mind. First came betrayal, when she felt all promises had been broken once again. Then came anger and revenge, when she thought of all she had sacrificed in vain after having promising herself she would never do something like that again. Then came pain, bare and stinging, when she realized there was nothing left inside her but tears. But long ago she had promised she would never make a decision that could change her life so much while being trapped by any of those negative feelings. And that, she said to herself, was the only promise she had manage to keep.

Then, after the pain subsided, came loneliness... her worst and most feared enemy. She had known for ages that she couldn't face it properly, for her it was a monster threatening to strangle but never kill her, a promise of a dull pain that would last forever, or until she found someone who could bring light back into her life and drive the beast away. As in a child's tale. But even loneliness had disappeared, given enough time. Or perhaps it had only been pushed to the very bottom of her heart, where it gave an occasional stinging of intense pain around certain dates... Not so occasional, she reminded herself, as the list of "critical dates" seemed to have grown since the last time she checked it.

Whatever had happened inside her she didn't know, but she knew the only thing inside her when she made up her mind was emptiness. Another of her dreaded enemies, but also a powerful allie when it came to continuing life and pretending there was nothign wrong in the endless cold night she was going through. Even after she made her decision, she took her time to reconsider it, she thought of other ways to get herlsef out of the point where she was. She even tried doing all the things she had never had time to do before, forced herself out of the house in a vain hope that something would change and make everything different. But nothing happened.

So there she was. It was a well thought action, she told herself once again, as she rose beforte the sun completely disappeared in the waters. Slowly, as if giving life a last chance to give her a reason to change her mind, despite the many months she had already waited, she walked to the very edge of the cliff and took a deep breath. She could hear the waves beating the rocks, some hundred meters below her, she could hear the seagulls flying on the wind. She could smell the grass, still damp after the light rain that had fallen earlier that evening. She looked back, to the land she had loved so much even long before she set foot on her, remembering the many times being there had been a balsam for her weary soul and broken heart. "But not this time", she whispered to herself, "not this time..."

She looked to the sinking sun again, and tears came back to her eyes when she thought of another broken promise... The list was too long for her to put up with it, her heart carried to many scars to recover again. Then, a faint smile showed in her lips as she took a deep breath... and she jumped. For an eternal instant, she fell, feeling the pain restrained in her heart ease for the first time in a long time. The sea, brave and rough, welcomed her with a tender hug, putting and end to her living hell. She, who had been denied the little she would have needed to enjoy a happy life, was gone, as was the sun. Only that no one noticed her absence.

Helga
06-28-2005, 04:31 PM
amazing, kinda hard to read because of the blue letters but it's beautiful. sweet and very well written I think

Keltic Banshee
06-28-2005, 04:44 PM
Thanks very much... Seems that when stories come out of the heart words are easy to find... at least much easier than usual.

bestseller
07-01-2005, 09:52 PM
I am honored to witness a day and a moment siezed through the art of language.

Keltic Banshee
08-16-2005, 06:56 PM
Well... just wanted to add a couple of things to the story. First, as many of my short stories, it's based in how I felt at the time I wrote it, so you can guess it wasn't exactly a happy moment. Second, that a few days ago I was in one of the Land's Ends I mention in the story... and I came back, so now it can't be such a bad moment ;-)

smilingtearz
11-15-2005, 12:21 PM
Beautiful...I love the way u've used words that we use in our day-to-day thinking...i mean it brings out the realistic and the natural element