Love

[Nevolia]

What is everybody's thoughts on love....I know its a broad topic..but i'll leave it as that. :D

[Phoenix_Tears]

My thoughts on love?I believe that love is a state of mind. But thats just me. Its like a disease that makes you blind and vulnerable. True love of any sort died out with the dinosaurs. It's purely physical now. people are getting married and calling it love because a woman gets pregnant, or they are in love with the idea of being in love. it's crazy. so what do i think about love? It makes a great bedtime story, but its a myth.
~Phoen-X~
p.s.
4YI, i used to believe in true love, but i was proved wrong.

[Nevolia]

:o ...Whoa..well..ummm...thanx phoenix....j/k
Actually I agree with you on some aspects, except the love being a myth part. I'm still in high school so I haven't experienced love or rejection in a relationship. So actually I still believe in "true love". It has to exist...I think everyone has the propensity to truly love. Yes there is a decline in morals, but I think there still are some few men and women out there who have not been jaded by what society now deems status quo. My true love is out there, I believe with all my heart he is... ;)

[Phoenix_Tears]

Nevolia~
Sorry if i came off a little harsh..lol but i have watched many a "true love" crumble. S i just don't really believe in it. I may and probably will be proven wrong, but for now, i am a non-believer in true love.
Ciao~Phoen-X~

[Nevolia]

Hmm...Thanks for that Phoenix,
Maybe I'm being a little naive with the whole matter. Having been told many times by the adults in my life that I haven't yet experienced the "real world", I guess maybe I seem to think that the world is better than it is. I have some friends who say that they don't want love to happen to them because they don't want their heart broken...but I hate that..how do they know their heart will be broken?

[Munro]

I don't know who said this, I might have to go to the quotes section later to check, but I believe that "it is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." When I got dumped by a close girlfriend last year I was quite devastated, but I realised that all I could do was to value the great times and experiences we had together.

It is amazing how at one time you meet a person who you feel, or know, is perfect for you, and who has an unspoken ability to make you feel good by merely being with them. When this feeling is reciprocated, then it is love, and at the time it is incredible. But heartbreak comes with it I suppose, if the couple moves apart or it is an unhealthy, unequal relationship. In the broader scale of things I like to think that in someone's life people come in and out of our lives at certain periods, and it all adds to our human experience, and all you can do is value and cherish what they may have left with you.

As for adults saying that young people don't know what love is, that is a completely arrogant self righteous lie to me. Young people are humans and they have emotions. They have the ability to feel and think and become attached to other people. The only difference is that we as adolescents (or the few of us here who are) are a little less experienced, and lust comes into the equation more, but what I've seen of adult relationships is disconcertingly similar to the "immaturity" of teen relationships. Argh, people who say stuff like that really...I'm going to stop before my coarseness of expression breaks loose all of a sudden.

Unfortunately for me I have experienced the pain of partially-unrequited love for the last two years for one amazing girl, who is actually my best friend, so I can speak from experience at least. It is very difficult, but passion and human experience, whether intense love/happiness or pain, is what makes life worth living for me.

[SirStefan32]

Stopped believing in love a couple of years ago. 8)

[doop]

test - as is my first post

[Koa]

Love? A joke, a lie, an illusion, a pastime... Maybe if I believed in it I could feel it but...

[Shea]

Definately beleive in it! Love cost me my best friend, but gained me my husband, which to me is the best thing that's ever happend to me second only to finding God.

I "fell in love" with my best friend from 7 years and after we were engaged for 5 months, he became a completely different person. When our engagement broke off, I was devestated. :( Then later, I started getting to know Leo (we had all gone to the same church) and lived happily ever after. But if it hadn't been for Alex, I'd still be living 1000 miles away and never would have met Leo.

From my experience, things always work out better than you'd ever expected! :D

[tree]

What is everybody's thoughts on love....I know its a broad topic..but i'll leave it as that. :D
id like to be here but i am not here

[tree]

What is everybody's thoughts on love....I know its a broad topic..but i'll leave it as that. :D
id like to be here but i am not here

[Koa]

From my experience, things always work out better than you'd ever expected! :D

Nah everybody says so... but to some people it just doesn't happen.

[MarsMonster]

the best feeling
i really love being in love :)

but with me it doens't last. so it probably isn't true love.
who cares :)

[AbdoRinbo]

'An army of lovers can be beaten.' -- Thomas Pynchon, Gravity's Rainbow.

That says it.

[MarsMonster]

you people are so negative :)

[ihrocks]

I'm a newbie here, and I usually don't post so early, and I suspect at 40 I'm a bit older than many of you, but this thread struck chord, so here goes:

There is love, real and lasting love. It is a rare thing, but it exists. However, most of us, in our haste to find it, mistake a myriad of other emotions for love -- passion, lust, chemistry, friendship. We believe too much what books, movies, and television tell us love should be, but they are so wrong. Love is not an overpowering, violent emotion that drives us with a sense of urgency. Love is quiet; a murmur in the heart. It is peace and serenity at the core of our being. Find that and you've found love.

Wish I had known that 20 years ago, I could have spared myself a lot of heartache.

But what do I know, I'm just a newbie.

ihrocks 8)

[Koa]

you people are so negative :)

Yeah, and proud of it ;)

Better be prepared, than be disillusioned...

To some extent, I can agree with ihrocks, but if it's something so subtle and not so common and 'noisy' as movies and books wants us to believe, I guess it's quite possible that to some people real love never really comes.

So...just an illusion, or a rare dream.

[ajoe]

I think love would exist if the two people would listen to this, understand this, and practice it. :)

1 Corinthians 13
Love is patient; love is kind.
Love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way: it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice in wrong doing, but rejoices in truth.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
And now faith, hope, and love abide,
and the greatest of these is love.

Because then there wouldn't be such thing as "the feeling is gone, so we should see other people" and divorce would be rarer. Don't you think?

[Shea]

I think love would exist if the two people would listen to this, understand this, and practice it. :)

1 Corinthians 13
Love is patient; love is kind.
Love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way: it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice in wrong doing, but rejoices in truth.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
And now faith, hope, and love abide,
and the greatest of these is love.

Because then there wouldn't be such thing as "the feeling is gone, so we should see other people" and divorce would be rarer. Don't you think?

Exactly!! :D

[AbdoRinbo]

Even if love does exist, we are still alone--we will die alone.

Anyway, to satisfy my voracious appetite for ambition in life, I'm going to go watch The Two Towers for the third time today. Pfff! Ahahahaha. 'Looooooooooooooooooove'.

[Koa]

I think love would exist if the two people would listen to this, understand this, and practice it. :)

1 Corinthians 13
Love is patient; love is kind.
Love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way: it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice in wrong doing, but rejoices in truth.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
And now faith, hope, and love abide,
and the greatest of these is love.

Because then there wouldn't be such thing as "the feeling is gone, so we should see other people" and divorce would be rarer. Don't you think?

No, I don't.
Utopia.

And as AdboRinbo said, at the end we are alone. The task of love/relationship is being as close as it's possible, but at the end of it noone can understand another being at 100%, noone can share 100% of his/herself... This human condemnation, as I wrote somewhere in a 'poem' (no it's not an advert but it's in the personal poetry section, lost in oblivion as I posted it ages ago)

[ihrocks]

And as AdboRinbo said, at the end we are alone. The task of love/relationship is being as close as it's possible, but at the end of it noone can understand another being at 100%, noone can share 100% of his/herself

Sorry to be a disagreeing newbie, but love has no task. Love is not being eternally joined at the hip. Love is freedom to truly be oneself and be accepted as oneself unconditionally. I'm not certain what's meant about being alone "at the end," but again, it seems what love is and what love isn't is being misunderstood. Love is not spending every minute of every day together. Love does not conquer all. Love does NOT mean "never having to say you're sorry." Love does not transform the world into an ideal place where all problems are forever solved, leaving you and your beloved endless times for holding hands on the beach in a perpetual sunset of romance. Love is being able to be apart without jealousy or fear. Love is sharing the burden of life's inevitable disappointments. Love means saying you're sorry rather frequently and meaning it. Love is a quiet moment at the end of day, when the kids are at last asleep, you're overdrawn at the bank, the house is a mess, you're both too tired to move, and thinking, "I wouldn't trade it for world."

Regards,

ihrocks

[Shea]

Sorry to be a disagreeing newbie, but love has no task. Love is not being eternally joined at the hip. Love is freedom to truly be oneself and be accepted as oneself unconditionally. I'm not certain what's meant about being alone "at the end," but again, it seems what love is and what love isn't is being misunderstood. Love is not spending every minute of every day together. Love does not conquer all. Love does NOT mean "never having to say you're sorry." Love does not transform the world into an ideal place where all problems are forever solved, leaving you and your beloved endless times for holding hands on the beach in a perpetual sunset of romance. Love is being able to be apart without jealousy or fear. Love is sharing the burden of life's inevitable disappointments. Love means saying you're sorry rather frequently and meaning it. Love is a quiet moment at the end of day, when the kids are at last asleep, you're overdrawn at the bank, the house is a mess, you're both too tired to move, and thinking, "I wouldn't trade it for world."

Regards,

ihrocks

You know, you just described my husband and I (minus the kids yet) and we couldn't be happier. I wish I was able to express my thoughts in such ways! :D

[AbdoRinbo]

In the world of science (which not many people here are familiar with, or fond of), love is described as a subconscious desire to cannibalize someone. Now that's something I can believe in.

[redrum]

i think love can happen, but that what defines "love" is different from person to person. maybe it's a little bit like god.

[den]

Woah, now that's profound... :D




In the world of science (which not many people here are familiar with, or fond of), love is described as a subconscious desire to cannibalize someone. Now that's something I can believe in.

[AbdoRinbo]

Cuz the idea is that you assimilate someone inside of you and form a perfect union . . . plus, when you eat anything you are fulfilling a subtle sexual urge (the desire of predator for prey).

[Koa]

In the world of science (which not many people here are familiar with, or fond of), love is described as a subconscious desire to cannibalize someone. Now that's something I can believe in.

This is the most interesting thing I've ever heard about love...
;)

[Koa]

Sorry to be a disagreeing newbie, but love has no task. Love is not being eternally joined at the hip. Love is freedom to truly be oneself and be accepted as oneself unconditionally. I'm not certain what's meant about being alone "at the end," but again, it seems what love is and what love isn't is being misunderstood. Love is not spending every minute of every day together. Love does not conquer all. Love does NOT mean "never having to say you're sorry." Love does not transform the world into an ideal place where all problems are forever solved, leaving you and your beloved endless times for holding hands on the beach in a perpetual sunset of romance. Love is being able to be apart without jealousy or fear. Love is sharing the burden of life's inevitable disappointments. Love means saying you're sorry rather frequently and meaning it. Love is a quiet moment at the end of day, when the kids are at last asleep, you're overdrawn at the bank, the house is a mess, you're both too tired to move, and thinking, "I wouldn't trade it for world."

Regards,

ihrocks

Must be, but I've never seen that either. All I see in married people is a repetitive routine, boredom, and I imagine them wonder how they ended up in that... I don't believe a good feeling like you described it can last more than 2 months. All I see my friends (age 20-22) do with their boyfriends is spending together every possible moment every single day (to the point that sometimes it's impossible to see them without bf included), and I wonder what they have to tell each other at some point... (ok I guess they don't spend the time talking...)

What I wanted to say with the loneliness thing is that the only time I've felt something similar to love, was when I found a person that could understand me... But after a while I realised that it was impossible to share, to show all of me, even if I tried I couldn't give him all, make him understand all... That's why at the end human beings are lonely, lonely, lonely...

Yes I am a frustrated b*tch ;)

------------
In other words... (i've posted it already but it fits here too somehow...)

I dream of many imaginary men
I need all of them
but when i get dressed
I think of the only one
who has given me so much

But every effort
to get closer
saw us falling from higher to the ground.

And i'm always in a fight
between an impulse to normality
and the eternal madness of my sky...

We'll never understand each other
this human condemnation:
too many sensibilities
too many conceptions of love.


19/10/02

[AbdoRinbo]

Your grasp of the English language is deuces good, Koa.

[Koa]

Your grasp of the English language is deuces good, Koa.

:oops: Thanks...
Wait... I have no idea of what you mean by 'deuces', but I suppose 'good' means 'good'...right? ;)

[AbdoRinbo]

Yes, 'doubly good'.

[darktiger_64]

When you're in love, you'll know it, you just do. Trust me. ;)

[b]

If I had to reveal my true thoughts about love and what it means for me, I would have to use more space than this forum would ever be able to offer: an infinate space, leading directly to eternity.

The danger about trying to unfold the contents of love, is that you become too rational in doing so. Love is deeply buried under the foundations of human consciousness, and when you try to expose is, you will probably remove much of the mystics and romance behind it: that would be unpoetical and hence impossible for me.

That doesn't mean that I leave the subject for what it is - as if I were a beast, a low life-insect or something -, no: I surely try to comprehend it, to experience it and make the feeling more consciously. I try to understand love without demolishing the structures of human thinking that depend on it's existence.

Poetry, lyrics, associative writing, stream of consciousness: all these things have helped me in the past to sense a little bit of that wonderfull structure that lies deeply underneath our experience.

Unfortunatly for you, most of the things I wrote about it are in Dutch, my mothers tongue - as Freud would have joked. I've also written a lot about it in English, but I'm not sure I'll ever post it here: it is way too personal and depending on my character.

That is the point were the communication on this forum gets annoying: you only have 'written words' and a simple 'user's-identity' to cope with. In a simplyfied form of communication, the transmission of my and your thoughts won't be personal and hence perfect enough to suite something fluid, florishing and flattering like... love.

[cristo]

In my opinion, Love is too complicated to express it by words. I try a lot of times, but it is impossible. It is easy to prove. Try to explain what is love to someone who never loved. Possible? No!
Maybe in Polish language :-)

[fayefaye]

i like the idea of love.. as a notion. but what are the chances of anyone ever finding true love? abysmal.

[Shea]

i like the idea of love.. as a notion. but what are the chances of anyone ever finding true love? abysmal.

I guess I fell into the abyss! :D

[lazy cat]

well i had that for some years but it died...i'd like to believe 'the one' for me is still out there but as time passes by i'm losing hope. :(

[AbdoRinbo]

'The only thing women can ultimately imagine is security. Once they get that, love, beauty, everything else goes out the window. All they have left is cold disdain; that's what marriages live on nowadays. Sometimes I see women who ought to be happy, with whom I could have found companionship, already swallowed up by brutes with as much feeling as an old log. . . .'

Arthur Rimbaud, 'A Season in Hell'.

[lazy cat]

well,not all women!unfortunately what you write about happens to men too. :-?

[AbdoRinbo]

Actually, Rimbaud was sympathizing with women in that passage. He's considered one of the first true male pro-Feminists.

[lazy cat]

hmmm i actually haven't read any of Rimbaud's staff :oops:
maybe i should give it a try...

[AbdoRinbo]

How old are you?

[lazy cat]

emmm...28 :oops:

[AbdoRinbo]

He gave up poetry when he was 20. Keep in mind that he might have been bone-crushingly complex and incredibly adept with words, but he was still just a child. 'Une Saison en Enfer' is a confession (one which you might be too old to understand), you either associate yourself with it or you don't. Try it, you might find the destructive element of his poetry to be salutary. I did.

[lazy cat]

too old?should i be offended? ok you convinced me,i 'll give him a try! :D

[Koa]

'The only thing women can ultimately imagine is security....

That's kinda true.

[AbdoRinbo]

When 'Une Saison en Enfer' was written in 1873, it was especially true.

[Ickmeister]

For all you pessimists, all I can say is ... I am truly sorry for you. one other thing, true love can be friendship.

[lazy cat]

I am indeed a pessimist concerning love but i do believe that friendship is true love and i have proof for it. :D I really love my friends!

[Koa]

I am indeed a pessimist concerning love but i do believe that friendship is true love and i have proof for it. :D I really love my friends!

I agree.

A few years ago I got very depressed about a friend 'betraying me': she just didn't need me anymore and threw me away like an old tissue... Well, according to some people I shouldn't have felt that bad cos it wasn't my boyfriend, just a friend... I don't think it makes much difference, in terms of feelings...

[lazy cat]

Unfortunately it has happened to me too...and it was worse than it would have been with a boyfriend.I mean you kind of "expect " a boyfriend not to stay around forever,but friends should be for life.I have known my two best friends for 10 and 15 years and I hope that we will grow old together. :D

[den]

Sounds misogynist to me.

What?

Men don't want/need/pursue the feeling of security too? With their jobs? Providing for their family? Establishing themselves in careers? Having a lovely woman on their arm? Getting their writing in print?

There are external and internal sources of security. bah. I can't stand gender-based generalisations like this. I can take a joke, but this is nonsense. I pursue my own security, hope to have it locked down when I'm 55, but I do not look to my relationships with men to `give ' me this feeling. And being `secure' is not the beat-all, end-all to my purpose in life.



'The only thing women can ultimately imagine is security....