silly ruff draft.. trying to write a love poem now

[Phoenix_Tears]

ok i have written all about darkness. now i think it might be fun to try at a mushy gushy love poem. this just kinda came to me this morning. i had no paper so i had to simply remember it.
I used to think, that love was just a fable
It was just something that i would never be able
To do for my past cast a shadow on my heart
It was not that way from the start
Before i witnessed what i thought was true love crumble
Before i saw that love crumble
And when it was no more i believed
That thoughts of love were for the young and nieve
But then You walked into the view of my eyes
It was like finally seeing heaven behind the vast skies
I could not eat i could not sleep
I could not dream or merely think
I could do nothing but want for you
I started to wonder if you felt that way too
And when i finally told you how i felt
When you smiled i felt my heart melt
You told me that you knew we would be together already
And now we're together our love staying steady-

ok yal (yal??...silly me)
take in mind this is a mere ruft draft. i am not sure i like it to much because i am better at being depressed.
whatdoya think. HONESTLY!!

[Phoenix_Tears]

no! on the second before, i meant tumble.. oopsy... my bad
pardoh moi

[Ammaria]

Thats a good start. Honest, thoughtful, a little mushy as a love poem should be wink . The question is what does your sweetie think of it?

[Phoenix_Tears]

- thats a catch..
.. there is no sweetie
......... only a really "close" friend
............ wink

[caesar]

Yeah, good start........

[Weems]

I always applaud when a person focusses on the positive! Keep working at it! While we have a natural tendency to look for negative everywhere, we all (maybe secretly) want to be lifted and feel good. I love focussing on the positive and I love being surrounded by people who can lift the layers off the obvious negative and expose opportunities to see bad things in a good light...